Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Dr. DRE?

When you think of the letters "D-R-E," what comes to your mind is probably the man pictured here. Born André Romell Young, he adopted the well-known stage name and became a most influential rapper.  Not only did he develop the West Coast sound, he also discovered Snoop and the Dogg Pound, helped make rap mainstream, and won three Grammys in the process.  So yeah, you wouldn't be wrong to think of him when you think "D-R-E."  I am sad to report that I can no longer do this.

You want to know what I think of when I hear these letters?


Why a gloved hand, you ask?  I'll tell you why.  Because today, I administered my first but unfortunately not last Digital Rectal Exam.  Ahh yes, the dread DRE.  The bane of the male existence.  The one thing that sucks about being a guy (other than paying for everything while dating).  The ugly, stupid cousin of the female pelvic exam.  The perfect birthday present for that 50-year-old guy in your life.

Medical students learn all sorts of exams.  Usually, we just practice on each other.  This sort of thing isn't really a problem when we're learning the heart exam, or the lung exam, or the eye exam.  But I definitely did not sign up for free practice prostate exams.  So the school pays volunteers.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Where can I sign up?"  Before you do that, let me tell you what this volunteering entails.  You show up, enter an exam room, drop ya drawes, put on one of the incredibly modest patient gowns, and then....Uh....20 medical students, with no previous experience, practice the exam on you.  Males, females, come one come all.  This process lasts about two hours.

So here's the question:  How much would it take for you to be willing to do this for 20 unknown medical students?  Vote in the poll.  (I should mention that our volunteers get paid $200 for doing this exam, double the usual rate.)


JW said...

Reefer, you idiot! You have been performing a service for free for the last 10 years that you could have been getting paid for!

Malerie said...

Gross, Matt. (I like the blog by the way)

Leia said...

This is the funniest post ever. I don't think you could pay me any amount of money to do that! I'm going to enjoy your blog! I'm so excited to see you guys next week.