Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Chicken in Every Pot and a Deodorant Under Every Arm

Are you like me? Do you think that in 21st century America it's reasonable for all undergraduates to wear deodorant? You do? Good, I knew you were like me.

Tragically, not everyone is like us.

I boarded the shuttle on campus today, headed home after another hard day's work at the library, set to take my board exam tomorrow. Nothing like a relaxing drive through La Jolla to calm the nerves, I thought. Unfortunately, approximately 3700 other people also thought a shuttle ride sounded good, and I soon found myself standing wall-to-wall among them.

At this point, I would like to publicly say that whoever invented the handrails for use by standing passengers is a real piece of crap. I'm sure he thought he was doing us all a favor, but in reality he screwed up big time. I say "he" because I'm sure it was a man who invented these blasted things -- no woman would possibly have invented something with such smelly consequences. It would be much better if we all just stood, arms at our sides, and played one big game of "jello" around every turn.

So there I am, about to asphyxiate at any moment under the horrific stench. I see a girl sitting nearby, with a look on her face like she just stepped in feces. Poor soul, she probably won't make it out alive. Do I do the gallant thing, and cover up her nose with my own shirt before she passes out? Do I kick open the emergency hatch and lead us all to freedom? And what in the heck IS THAT SMELL.

Well, I decided to just endure. I hope it's okay for ophthalmologists to be hard of smelling, because I think I sustained permanent damage. And if I didn't, I'll self-inflict it before I board the shuttle the next time.


Here's a photo of something my "baby" made last week.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

New Baby Keeping Me Up

It's 4:37 am, and I'm awake. How did I get into this situation?

Well, it started when the new delivery arrived at a friend's house a few days ago (we chose to have it there). Since then, it's been a whirlwind of friends coming over to see the new addition and family begging for pictures. Mommy has been bonding somewhat but seems a bit standoffish at times. Madeline is indifferent and more concerned about her own "Dee Dee" (baby).

But Daddy has had a special relationship with this little guy since the moment he laid eyes on him.

Here are a few quick facts about our Bundle of Joy (name pending):

Height: 44" (99th percentile)
Weight: 37 pounds, 0 ounces (99th percentile -- some question of gestational diabetes)
Color: Black
Favorite foods: 7 pound pork shoulders, entire bags of Kingsford, and chunks of apple wood (as a special treat)
Favorite activities: Smoking
Unusual features: Has three legs, head lifts off body

So here I am, caring for him in the wee hours of the morning as only Daddy can. I've been up all night, and I couldn't be happier.

Pictures soon to follow!