Monday, June 9, 2008

Goatee or just Goaty?

As part of a time-honored tradition of the NHL playoffs, most hockey players grow a playoff beard. You might think it is just another way for hockey players to transform into the smelliest, nastiest human beings on the planet, but it's supposed to bring good luck to those hoping for an extra edge.

I've got to take the board exam next week, and I too am looking for any advantage I can get. I considered wearing my lucky underwear for the month of June. I thought about taking a week off to visit the Blarney stone. Instead, I've decided to grow a savage playoff beard of my own.

And more savage, it could not be. Savage like cro-magnon man was savage. Savage like Tarzan on both the cream and the clear. Plus, besides the intangible luck the beard brings me, it has also provided me with quantifiable extra hours upon hours of study time as I no longer have a wife who allows me in the house.

But the best thing about my "beard" is that it has also given me the ability to read minds. When I pass people in the library or on the street, for instance, I can always tell what they're thinking. Most of the time, it is one of the following:

1. Should I buy him a hot meal?

2. I feel sick

3. Should I tell him?

4. Aaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiii

Anyway, I'll let you know how the exam goes. In the meantime, if you see Malerie, tell her I will be home, hairless, in a fortnight.


corbin said...

So I notice that picture is taken inside your apartment. Do you sneak in at night while Malerie is asleep and rummage through the garbage for scraps of food?

Just steer clear of that leftover sandwich all wrapped up in the pail. In the dark, the words 'huggie' and 'hoagie' look awfully similar.

Jennifer said...

Grody also seems like a good name for it. Just kidding. Good luck!

Lauren Ricci said...

For comfort, Mike is sporting a full beard now. For someone who shaves his entire body, he has a lot of hair on his face :-)

Good luck on your test! Let us know how it goes. We know you will do great!

Annette said...

Could you change your name, or at least your last name until the beard is gone? love, Mom

Annette said...

You're a disgrace. -- Dad

Samantha Weed said...

Gross, I think it's funny that Malerie has a post about your anniversary on her blog, and you have a post about your beard! How much longer till you shave?